Another Few and Far Between Post

I know my posts are few and far between and basically pretty boring, but it's mainly for family to let them know what's up in our lives right now.

Tomorrow is starting the first day at the Mother's Day Out program at our church for the boys and for me. I'll be working there. It's a Tuesday and Thursday program, and it'll be good for them to get some interaction with other kids. Caleb's been in a MDO program in Oklahoma before, but Tru has never been so I'm hoping he does okay.

Chaz has quit his early, early morning job at UPS since any promotion is far away and self-employment is starting to boom for him. He enjoys doing the things he does being self-employed so I think we're heading that direction for now unless something else becomes available. I'm a little nervous about all the bookkeeping it's going to take since I'm sure I'll be the one doing all of it, but hopefully I'll catch on fast. Actually, not nervous...stressed, but that's no surprise if you know me. But I'm choosing not to stress about it (not just the bookkeeping, but the whole self-employment thing), and to take it one step at a time. Haha..this probably sounds ridiculous to a lot of you out there, but if anyone worries like I do then you understand.

We still have not bought our own house...poor mom and dad. They are being so patient while we try to get it all figured out. We are trying to get approved for a loan or maybe go a different route...we'll see. Trying to stay patient with that whole situation.... I'm so grateful to my parents for letting us live with them. I don't know what we would do without them. But it's hard not having your own place, especially with two young kids. I'm praying hard for a house or rent house or apartment to live in soon and for an approved loan.

Life feels a little bit in upheaval for that past half year or so, but I'm learning that life is generally just like that. I'm always waiting for things to calm down, but there's always something that's going to be going on. Life doesn't just stop. 23 years old and I just figured that out! There are quiet seasons of life, and I'm hoping one of those comes around soon...as "quiet" as you can get it with two little ones, but I'm thinking life will be quite busy for a while. I'm okay with that. I think. Of course, I would much prefer the quiet season, but it's in the busy seasons of life that I think we learn so much about being still before the Lord - seeking out time to spend with Him, craving time with Him because we're so dependent at that point in our lives. That's where I am right now anyway. And at times I just really want it all to be "fixed" and for the problems just to go away, but I also am grateful for all of it because I feel like my faith is growing stronger in the Lord. I'm realizing I really have no control over this or that situation, and I have to totally trust God to provide for us, take care of us, protect us, shelter us, forgive us.

I was reading Lies Women Believe and The Truth That Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss the other night and copied this excerpt for the book because I couldn't help but feel the relevance to our world and my life sometimes:

The Truth is, life is hard. We live in a fallen world. Even those who have been redeemed live in earthly bodies and have to deal with the realities of temptation, sin (both our own and others'), disease, loss, pain, and death. Becoming a Christian--even being a mature, godly Christian--does not wrap us up in some sort of celestial cocoon where we are immune to pain. Not until God makes a new heaven and new earth will we be totally free from the ravages of sin. Until then, there will be tears, sorrows, pressures, and problems,
But--and here's the good news--God is not removed and detached from problems. He doesn't just sit up in heaven and watch to see if we will manage to survive. No, the God of the Bible is "a very present help in trouble" (Psalm 46:1 KJV). That doesn't mean he waves a magic wand and makes all our problems disappear; it does mean He uses pressures and problems to mold and shape our lives to make us like His Son Jesus, who "learned obedience from what he suffered" (Hebrews 5:8).
We want God to fix all our problems. God says instead, "I have a purpose for your problems. I want to use your problems to change you and to reveal My grace and power to the world." That is the Truth--and the Truth will set you free.

It's true...we are not promised a life without pain or struggle (aw man!), but we are promised God's presence in our lives even when it's hard or when it hurts. Thank you, God, for you presence in my life. Help me to live a life that is pleasing to you. Help me to continue to praise You and rejoice even in the hard times because You are my very present help in trouble. Help my husband and my boys to see You through me even when I'm at my lowest. I so want them to know Your presence in our lives and How you protect and love us through the good and the bad.

Why can I never think of a good title?

I always think I'll update more than I do, but I really have nothing all that interesting to talk about. Ha!

Chaz and I got a date night tonight thanks to Mom and Dad and went to go see "The Proposal"....very cute and very funny! Then we walked over to Marble Slab and had a treat. During the movie, there was some really loud rain and thunder going on outside. Mom said she had to lay with Caleb for a while so he wouldn't be scared of the "bunder." She fell asleep on the bed with him (although he was still awake) and there was a REALLY loud boom and she jumped about a foot in the air and Caleb burst out laughing. I can just hear his belly laugh as Mom told me the story.

Also: Earlier today Caleb was whining for no reason at all (usually that's the reason for all whining) and Tru came over to play with him and Caleb pushed him away. I got onto him. Five minutes later after I had lay Tru down for nap and was laying Caleb down for his nap, I said "Caleb, the Bible says that we are to be kind to others and pushing is not nice" and he replied very seriously "Momma, the Bible doesn't have a mouth." I almost burst out laughing, but I held it in due to his very serious face. I explained that although the actual Bible does not have a mouth that the words inside of the Bible are the words of God....and that we must obey God because He loves us and knows what's best for us. Man! I have GOT to put that one in his baby book.

Truitt is walking all over the place now....it's so precious to watch. I love to just sit and watch him play and figure things out. His chubby little face makes me want to squeeze him. He just finished his last dose of antibiotics today. He had a pretty high fever this past weekend and so I took him to the walk-in clinic (a TWO AND A HALF HOUR WAIT) and he had a red throat and ear infection. He's better now, but that high fever made him so lethargic that he slept on me all day and I held him all day. So NOW....he thinks he's entitled to that all day long even when he's NOT sick. Haha...I guess you get the picture. He cries this heart-wrenching cry like I'm leaving and never coming back everytime I set him down to do something....unless he has a snack in hand (but I can't feed him ALL day long). I'm just having to let him cry here and there so he doesn't think I'll just hold him all day long because I can't with a 3 year old who wants me to play tractors or write lists. Yes...write lists or find receipts for him to have. Caleb carries receipts and "lists" around all day long and takes them in the car and to the store. I have to keep him from digging through my purse for receipts so he doesn't take ones that I need. Silly boy!

Mom and Dad are headed out for vacation this Sunday and won't be back for over a week. I'm beginning to wonder what I will do. But then I remember that I have 2 sisters who live here....and I lived in Oklahoma all on my own without any of my family so I guess I'll be okay. Haha! I'm thinking I've already becomed spoiled living so close to my family. But I wouldn't take that blessing away for anything! God has truly blessed me to be able to be near my family...and to have such an incredible family who is so supportive and encouraging and loving. I can't imagine where I would be if I hadn't been raised by such godly parents and if my sisters hadn't been my best friends. And they truly are my best friends...we always have so much fun together no matter what we're doing and I love them all so much for everything they are to me.

I started a bible study at church on Wednesday nights called Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer. So far it's been great and I know God will continue to use the study to grow me. The title of the study really tipped me off to join in. Who doesn't want to be able to discern the voice of God? If you're like me, you just want a formula to be able to hear God. 'Do this, do that and then you will hear God's voice.' Man, I wish. But honestly I'm glad it's not just a formula because I would miss so many blessings God has for me on the way of drawing closer to Him. The more I spend time in the Word and learn more about the character of God, I learn how to be more sensitive to His Spirit and His voice. I can't wait to see all this study will bring because I've already learned so much and seen God working in my heart. Please pray for me during this study if you get the chance because right now, more than ever, I need your prayers.

Hope all is well with everyone!

Finally a new post

I have lately realized that although my faith has grown tremendously over the last few years, it is still so small. I'm getting really worried about Chaz not being able to find a job. I know Chaz will always find something (as he's already doing tons of side jobs), but you know me...I HAVE to worry because it's not permanent instead of just being grateful that he HAS side jobs.

I have also dealth with worrying over my kids. Ok, I know we all worry over our kids, but this is like a gripping worry that something terrible will happen to them like they will be diagnosed with a terminal illness or die in some terrible accident. Call me crazy, but I really do worry over these things. When I start worrying it just becomes this gripping fear and I have to find reassurance in the Word or just with prayer. I find it ridiculous how much I worry, but I have a feeling I will always have a hard time letting stuff go. I envy people who are so carefree and can hand stuff over to God so easily. Or those who can hand it over to God and leave it there for more than 2 minutes. Ha! It's a constant thing for me. The other day in church in Sonora during a quiet time of prayer I just layed all of worries at God's feet. And then Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (you get the picture) I found myself doing it again.

I feel like lately I've had to own up to my fears and realize that nothing earthly (husband, kids, family) can protect me from any of them. Only God can give me the peace I really need and only He can protect my kids the way I can't.

On a lighter note, I'm still loving being back close to family. I don't think I'll ever grow old of it. Mom's birthday is this Sunday and I think we're going to do dinner for her Saturday night. I've missed just being around for family birthday nights.

Tru turns one in one month! Is that crazy or what?! He's started taking little steps. It's so cute because it looks robotic because he's still really wobbly. He throws his 'fits' by lunging himself on the floor from the crawling position and lunging to me instead of crawling (it's actually really hard trying not to laugh at it because it's so cute). Or he bangs his head on the floor (very cautiously I might add - he gets his head really close to the ground and then bangs...haha!). His thumb is still his best friend and I think we'll have a deal getting him to stop that, but for now I'm just enjoying how cute it is and not WORRYING about it. He has two more teeth coming in and they have given him fits. Poor baby!

Caleb is still obsessed with tractors so no new news there. He literally has them out on the floor all day long and plays with them ALL DAY LONG. I love the way he loves his tractors. He's so funny. On the movie "Cars," there's a part where Lightning McQueen and Mater scare the "tractors" (or cows is what they're supposed to be on the movie) and they tip up on their backs (you know...like cow tipping). Caleb plays that out with his tractors. He makes me "honk" at the his tractors and then he goes "mooooooo" and tips them up on his back. It's hilarious to watch. Still trying to potty train Caleb. Yes, STILL. Any suggestions, anyone? He's go pee on the potty, but not the other one. He ASKS for a diaper (so he knows he has to go) and I willingly give in (only because the doctor asked me to play along since it was probably a matter of control). But it's been a while since then. He still wakes up from nap and nighttime with a soaking wet diaper. Hmm...what to do. Trying not to WORRY that he'll be pooping in diapers in Kindergarten. Ugh.

Dad was saying the other day how funny it is that he's never whiney or fussy with him or mom, but as soon as Chaz or I walk in out comes the fussing. Dad said "Maybe it's because I never say 'no'"! Haha! Probably...and because kids have a natural tendency to save up all the whining or tantrums for mommy and daddy. Yay for us!

Moving, "Wowa," and Poppers

The "transition" phase of moving has been hard, but we've done it before and, honestly, isn't life ALWAYS a transition? That's the conclusion I've come to anyway. You can't just wait around for the chaos to end. I've just had to learn (and am still learning) to live life midst the chaos. It's calming to know that God IS in control even when life is crazy and He IS big enough for all of my problems! "...take heart, for I have overcome the world!"

If y'all could be in prayer over the right job...or ANY job for Chaz. I feel like we took a huge leap a faith moving without a job and it's scary, but I know God will grow us through it. That's definitely something I've learned in my time in Oklahoma - that God grows my faith through all the hard circumstances. I've questioned 'why' a lot in the last couple of years, but I can say that my faith 2 years ago and my faith today has changed for the better. I really didn't understand it before, but I know now why I was in Oklahoma for this long and why everything that happened happened...sort of. We never see the big picture but God does and I feel like he's done something huge in my life in my time here. It just makes me excited to see what else God will do!

I am so happy to be near from sisters and parents. I feel happier here. I know that I shouldn't depend on them for my happiness and I don't, but they do make things a lot better. Ha! Being so young with two young kids is definitely a time to be near them.

I'm copying a pasting a story my mom (who the kids call "Lola" (grandma in Filipino since we grew up there) wrote on our family blog about Caleb the other night. It's hilarious:

"Yes, I'm hearing "Wo-wa" alot nowdays. Caleb has a hard time saying his l's, so Lola is "Wo-wa". So, cute, but we are helping him put his tongue in place to say an "l" correctly from time to time. Tonight Erin had promised him he could play with the playdough after he ate. Of course as soon as the last bite was swallowed, he ran over to us and said, "I want to pway with the pway dough...I want to pway with the pwaydough!" Erin said, "Ok....put your tongue here and say "L"...pLaydough! Being in a BIG hurry, he said, "L-L-L-L, pwaydough L-L-L-L Pwaydough!" So cute!
Okay, I'm headed to bed....it's time for me to "way" my head down on my piwwow" Love that boy!
Kristi....or more affectionately know as "Wo-wa"!"


It was so funny!

Chaz is out getting Caleb's hair cut since the warm weather here is more so than it was in Oklahoma. I like it shorter, but everybody seems to like it longer. I guess it's because I'M the one that has to comb it every morning and make it look somewhat decent. Ok...I have to admit that I really don't comb it EVERY day...you know, if we're not going anywhere what's the point, right?
Tru is sleeping soundly in the playpen in our room. Yes, OUR room. Chaz, me, and Tru are in one room since we're staying with my parents. He's been doing well. He goes to bed at 6pm or sometimes a little later and then wakes up sometimes once at night to eat and wakes up at 7am. He cried for a short period last night since I think he can hear us when we roll over or turn in bed. He also takes 2 naps during the day. I know...I'm blessed. And I count my blessings for sure. Caleb was certainly not the best sleeper - and still isn't. He still wakes up at night. I get up more with him than my 10 month old. Ha! Occasionally we'll get a full night out of him.

Ok, well Chaz and Caleb just got home and they had stopped by Academy after the haircut and got poppers (those firecracker popper things) so I think I'll go watch them be silly.

What a mess!

What a mess! Ash and the kids and I drove into San Angelo Friday evening and Chaz stayed behind to load the trailer with his parents. On their way in late last night at about 11:30pm, Doug's (Chaz's stepdad) truck broke down...the truck pulling the trailer with all of our stuff in it. Chaz was following him in his truck. It broke down close to Abilene (between there and San Angelo) so they stayed in a hotel in Abilene. They are still there as of now. They are going to change the fuel filters, which is all they can really do on their own. They are hoping that is the problem (filled up on bad diesel or something) because, if not, then they will probably have to wait until Monday for a mechanic. Ugh! Please pray that things work out!

Other than that, I'm ecstatic to be back in San Angelo! The kids are loving playing with their cousins. Caleb keeps asking when we're going "home" and I keep having to explain that we sold our house in Oklahoma and that somebody else lives in it now. Lola and PawPaw's house is our home right now until we buy a new house. He's still a little confused, but I guess he'll catch on eventually. Oklahoma City was all he ever knew because he was so little when we moved so it's understandable that he's confused. Truitt is doing well. He slept awful the first night here...he was coughing and I think just a little off schedule. He slept great last night, but then Caleb woke up 4 times. Ha! I think they get together and plan to wake me up on alternate nights. I guess it's best they don't wake up at the same time...trying to find the positive here.

Better go blow dry my hair before the little one wakes from his nap. Be in prayer please!

Packing

Well Chaz was disqualified from the firefighter job for now due to a number of things. He was disappointed, but if you know Chaz then you know that he just rolls with the punches. He's excited to retry again beginning of 2011. Until then, be in prayer for a more permanent job until then. When we move to TX we'll be staying with my parents for about 2 months. I feel like we're intruding so hopefully it's no longer than that. We're so grateful for them! We're excited to be closer to family!

Less than 2 weeks to closing day and I've been packing like crazy. I feel like there's still so much to do, but I'm down to where I really can't pack anymore because we need it to live the next 2 weeks. Frustrating.

Will keep you posted...

SOLD!!

We had our house on the market for 4 days and it sold for full price! We are so thankful! Closing in 5 weeks...eek! That means packed and moving in 5 weeks without a job. I mean...not like we didn't move up here without one. Just be praying for a temporary job for Chaz until this firefighting job, hopefully, comes along.

Moving On...

We're meeting with our realtor tonight and we're going to list the house. We just decided that it'd be easier to be in San Angelo during this whole firefighter process and Chaz can get any job to get us by (scary, but he always has been able to provide for us so I'm not too worried). It is kind of a step of faith because the firefighter position isn't a sure thing yet. So we're trusting God.
This house is just kind of holding us here because if it weren't for it, then we'd probably just move.
Anyway just be praying for a good job for Chaz in SA to hold us over...and for the sell of our house in the Lord's timing.
On a lighter note, the Bachelor finale is tonight and I'm sooo excited (I know I'm ridiculous, but I don't care).

We were finally able to make it to church yesterday for the first time in a while (between sicknesses and being out of town) and it was great. The sermon was actually geared toward single people, but Sunday School was good. We're doing the I Promise marriage study and the lesson was really good. It was about communiating and the different stages of it in a marriage. I think that's something that a lot of couples struggle with seeing that girls, generally, talk more and NEED to talk with their husbands to feel close. Chaz and I struggle with it because he would much prefer to just say 2 words a day and me, well, I just can't stop talking. Anyway, I got a lot out of it.
Ok I'm writing this on my tiny phone and now my hands are cramping up. Hope all is well.

Trip to San Angelo

On our way to San Angelo Friday night we had quite an eventful trip. We had just passed Lawton, OK and, going 75 mph, we hit an ottoman. I know...it sounds weird, but there was a black, leather, matte ottoman in the middle of the road and in pitch black night Chaz didn't see it until the last second. We smashed into it and it was soooo loud. Chaz slammed on the brakes and pulled to the shoulder with this ottoman attached the front of our car. We sat there in shock for a second and then Chaz got out and saw that our car was smashed in and the radiator busted. The ottoman was also totally destroyed. The girls that lost it eventually came back and got it. The furniture company should pay because they didn't even strap it in!! I'm not going to explain every detail that happened because this story would be 2 pages long, but basically a police took Chaz back to Lawton to rent a car, courtesy of Jim and Ashley (thank you SOOO much!) while Caleb, Tru, and I waited in the car on the shoulder in pitch black. I was sooo scared, but was driving to stay brave for the kids (that's the ONLY thing that kept me from breaking down). That and the scripture texts from Ashley. A tow truck hauled our smashed car back to Lawton and we'll deal with all of that later.Anyway, we finally got on the road and everything was fine. Our 7 hour trip turned into a 10 and a half hour trip. Thank you all for your prayers and I'm certainly counting my blessings. Things could have been so much worse. Pray for Chaz right now. He's taking the civil service test for firefighter on about 3 and half hours of sleep!God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in time of trouble. Psalm 46:1

Aw man!

So I just typed an entire blog on the tiny little keyboard on my phone and it got erased. Oh well. Might be a while until you get a long one. The boys are sick and we're attempting isolation in the house...talk about cabin fever. We're on day 2 of 14. Say a prayer for us. Will post when I can.