My Little Boys!

My Boys!

Family Picture

Family Picture

Two Kids

Having two kids has been the biggest obstacle of my life. Obstacle - ha! As if it's something that will end. I guess I'm a mother of two forever. I couldn't be prouded of my boys, but I'm certainly not saying it's easy. I still can't seem to feel okay with splitting my time and attention between two. Something must be wrong with me. I constantly feel guilty for giving my attention to one and not the other. I know, I know: if I put all of my enery that I spend feeling guilty into just having fun with them I'd be better off. It's something that's learned, though, and old habits die hard.

I was rocking Tru to sleep tonight and I was silently praying for him and for Caleb. I never feel more passion in my heart when I pray than when I pray for my boys and their futures...and their simplistic present troubles - like gassy tummies, sleep schedules, potty training, and tantrums. I was praying for the more important things, though - the things I feel obligated to pray for as their mom, but also the things that I really do want so much for them. I want them to know the Lord and I want them to seek to honor Him with their lives. And then that led me to praying for Chaz and I. Are we being godly examples for them so that they know Him through us? We are the most important tools for teaching them about Him. Talk about a strong incentive to be close in your relationship with God. I think having two kids certainly has me crying out in desperation quite often. Usually I only have the energy lef to cry out 'help', but I know He hears. A lot of times I just want God to fix the actual problems going on - 'help Caleb stop throwing this tantrum,' 'help Tru to get past this gassy tummy,' 'help Caleb to actually go potty in the potty,' but God usually just gives me the patience and the ability to handle the situations best I can, which is honestly more than I can ask for.

Sometimes I feel like the worst mom, the most impatient mom, the most frustrated mom. But at the end of the day Caleb kisses and hugs me goodnight in his playful way and Tru still coos and smiles at me for no reason at all. It's then I realize they still love me. And then I'm grateful to God for His renewed mercy, His unfailing love, and His constant grace. Amazing what your own kids can teach you, huh?

My Young Self

Do we all think of ourselves as younger than we really are? I was folding laundry when this concept hit me. Before I was folding laundry, I was walking outside in the yard with my 2-month old (it gets him to sleep) and my 24-year old neighbor was walking with her friend on the sidewalk. Last time I saw her I was about 8 months pregnant. She stopped and saw the baby and we made small talk. I found myself feeling really inferior and young. She's 24, single, a teacher. I'm 22, married, a mom. I find myself feeling like I still belong in high school all the time. Maybe it's because my life (as in my marriage and having kids) started really early. And people my age are just graduating college (something I haven't gotten to yet). My father-in-law was also talking about his grandfather who just found out he has lung cancer. He's in his 90s, but doesn't want to accept that surgery would probably be too traumatic in his old age or that he will die soon. My father-in-law says it's because we view ourselves as younger than we really are - he said that he views himself as in his 30s or thinks he's still capable of things he could do in his 30s, when he says he knows he isn't.

So do we all think of ourselves as younger than we really are or am I just weird. That, or everyone does it and I just analyze it too much...very possible.

Lightning!

We had a storm last night and these are close-ups, but he got these really cool pictures of the lightning outside our house. I told him he was not so smart for standing out in the storm taking pictures, but they are pretty cool pictures. Ha!

Kids and Dogs

Truitt Walker Sloan

Ashley, Anna, Emily, me

Caleb and his cousins

I'm so not ready to go back to Oklahoma yet. Chaz got here to my parent's house yesterday and we'll go back on Sunday morning. We've been having so much fun. Caleb has had a blast with his cousins...I don't think they've stopped laughing when they're around each other - except for the occasional spat which doesn't last very long. Truitt has been ooo-ed and ahh-ed over all week long and has loved it. He just grins at everybody and is such a content baby. I'm so blessed to have a content baby the second time around because Caleb requires a lot of my attention (what 2 year old doesn't?) and having a fussy baby would be so stressful.





Caleb is sitting here throwing his cheerios down at Sam (mom and dad's dog) and watching him search for them on the floor. I have a feeling Sam will be at his feet every meal now. It would be nice to have a dog clean up dropped food on the floor, but we've tried the dog thing and I have gotten rid of both of them. I am NOT going to be a mother to a dog right now. I like dogs, but NOT in my house. Maybe when the kids are older and can handle the responsibilities. Chaz jokes because I got rid of our weinie dog, Bullet, while he was at his great-grandma's funeral that I couldn't make it to. I sent him a text saying 'bye-bye bullet' and his family thought it was hilarious. I'm not totally cruel. We'd talked about getting rid of him before and Chaz pretty much okayed it. I told him I'd get rid of the dog before he got home from the funeral, and Chaz said 'if you do, I'll be mad, but I'll get over it.' Oh, okay. If he won't hold it against me for like, then it was a very clear 'okay' for me. Ha! I took the dog to a shelter. Caleb couldn't have cared because he didn't like him anyway. The dog STILL wasn't potty trained after 3 weeks. The first dog was Toby and he shed all over the place and we BOTH agreed to get rid of that one, sort of. Well, that's my dog story.





Truitt is grinning like crazy at mom right now so I better get over there to him him. I still can't get over his grins. He's such a cutie.

My First Blog

My dear, sweet sister has set me up a blog and I'm so grateful. I have no idea how I would have done it on my own...too many details and too many choices.

I'm visiting my family right now in Texas and having a blast. My sisters hadn't met my new little baby yet and they can't get over him. He's such a little chunk (or a chunky monkey as I call him) and they've been ooo-ing and ahh-ing over him. The girls (my three older sisters) and I decided to have a girls' night. Considering two of us are moms of little kids and one drove 4 hours from where she lives and the other one works a full-time job, we all sat here and stared at the t.v. until we got too tired to stay awake any longer. Don't get me wrong, we have a blast when we're together, but tonight we were WAY to tired. I love spending time with them anyway. It always brings back stories of when we were little and the crazy things we did behind mom and dad's backs (like riding the mattresses down the stairs when they were gone) or the silly games we use to play (like secretary or airplane...yes, we use to play airplane). I'm so blessed to have such incredible parents and sisters. They are such a support to me as I am learning to be a godly wife and mother. And by learning I mean that every day is a lesson and I learn something new at least once a day. I can't imagine my life being any more fulfilling right now.

I have a feeling most of my blogs will be about my two little boys and the joys (and frustrations) of motherhood. Hope you enjoy! Here we go......................................