Finally a new post

I have lately realized that although my faith has grown tremendously over the last few years, it is still so small. I'm getting really worried about Chaz not being able to find a job. I know Chaz will always find something (as he's already doing tons of side jobs), but you know me...I HAVE to worry because it's not permanent instead of just being grateful that he HAS side jobs.

I have also dealth with worrying over my kids. Ok, I know we all worry over our kids, but this is like a gripping worry that something terrible will happen to them like they will be diagnosed with a terminal illness or die in some terrible accident. Call me crazy, but I really do worry over these things. When I start worrying it just becomes this gripping fear and I have to find reassurance in the Word or just with prayer. I find it ridiculous how much I worry, but I have a feeling I will always have a hard time letting stuff go. I envy people who are so carefree and can hand stuff over to God so easily. Or those who can hand it over to God and leave it there for more than 2 minutes. Ha! It's a constant thing for me. The other day in church in Sonora during a quiet time of prayer I just layed all of worries at God's feet. And then Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (you get the picture) I found myself doing it again.

I feel like lately I've had to own up to my fears and realize that nothing earthly (husband, kids, family) can protect me from any of them. Only God can give me the peace I really need and only He can protect my kids the way I can't.

On a lighter note, I'm still loving being back close to family. I don't think I'll ever grow old of it. Mom's birthday is this Sunday and I think we're going to do dinner for her Saturday night. I've missed just being around for family birthday nights.

Tru turns one in one month! Is that crazy or what?! He's started taking little steps. It's so cute because it looks robotic because he's still really wobbly. He throws his 'fits' by lunging himself on the floor from the crawling position and lunging to me instead of crawling (it's actually really hard trying not to laugh at it because it's so cute). Or he bangs his head on the floor (very cautiously I might add - he gets his head really close to the ground and then bangs...haha!). His thumb is still his best friend and I think we'll have a deal getting him to stop that, but for now I'm just enjoying how cute it is and not WORRYING about it. He has two more teeth coming in and they have given him fits. Poor baby!

Caleb is still obsessed with tractors so no new news there. He literally has them out on the floor all day long and plays with them ALL DAY LONG. I love the way he loves his tractors. He's so funny. On the movie "Cars," there's a part where Lightning McQueen and Mater scare the "tractors" (or cows is what they're supposed to be on the movie) and they tip up on their backs (you know...like cow tipping). Caleb plays that out with his tractors. He makes me "honk" at the his tractors and then he goes "mooooooo" and tips them up on his back. It's hilarious to watch. Still trying to potty train Caleb. Yes, STILL. Any suggestions, anyone? He's go pee on the potty, but not the other one. He ASKS for a diaper (so he knows he has to go) and I willingly give in (only because the doctor asked me to play along since it was probably a matter of control). But it's been a while since then. He still wakes up from nap and nighttime with a soaking wet diaper. Hmm...what to do. Trying not to WORRY that he'll be pooping in diapers in Kindergarten. Ugh.

Dad was saying the other day how funny it is that he's never whiney or fussy with him or mom, but as soon as Chaz or I walk in out comes the fussing. Dad said "Maybe it's because I never say 'no'"! Haha! Probably...and because kids have a natural tendency to save up all the whining or tantrums for mommy and daddy. Yay for us!